Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
