i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She announced her abortion via fbk
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
