I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
