Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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