I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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