Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
