addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
