i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
