Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
