i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
