Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
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do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize