I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
