my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
They took my balls.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
