i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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