escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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