they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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