i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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