So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
