If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
