just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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