and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
