does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
