is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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