this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
