I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
