And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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