i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
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you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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