I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
