I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
