go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
