We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
