I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
