suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
