this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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