so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
