He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
