$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's official drugs can't kill me
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
