I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
