During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize