Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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