ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
