D3 body, D1 cock
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
