thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
