just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
