so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize