but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
