I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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