K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
