i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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