We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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