Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
