Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
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I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
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Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm really busy with my period
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