just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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