My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
