How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
