It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize