I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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