I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
