We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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