You just made me feel so damn special
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize