Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
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She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
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tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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