doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
