Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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