If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
