Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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