Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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