wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
