he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
