I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
