Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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