Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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